Authors's Note: When I wrote this poem I was very upset with the all the preventable inequalities and imperfections that humans have but don't get rid of. So, to express my thoughts I wrote this, and I hope you can enjoy and even relate to it.
Gold is gravel
The segregration between wealth and peasants
Is startling in every aspect
The disgust from the rich
Sickens the healthy
And fuels the sick
Every day of our lives
Strength is weakness
The stong kills the lame
And laugh at the event
The fact is
We are all guilty of this
But we must have realization
And change our ways
Hope is despair
People find joy
In others hurt
The feeling of authority
Is so great
That it turns people to demons
And relationships sour
Love is hate
Isn't it true?
Love being the greatest flaw
Of the human race
It turns one against the other
For quite foolish reasons
And slowly kills the world one by one
Life is death
Every day a struggle
To live up to expectations
Those of peers and of your own
In our eyes we are never good enough
And will never stop killing ourselves
Just to make us better
That's interesting, and kind of scary to think about, because it's kind of true.
ReplyDeleteWhoa, that's not scary at all. I wish you could add to this to make it longer. I like how you made people think and let them choose what this means. So....what does this mean?
ReplyDeleteI think I was kind of mad at all the people that had everything and they didn't give a penny to shelters and other things to that extent so I was just expressing that they make their belongings bad, if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteRyan, it seems like you feel very strongly about people that have everything and only think of themselves. You should write more about the topic because if you have a strong feeling or opinion about it, it will definately show in your writing. You are an amazing writer and when you write about something you feel strongly about your writing will be even better.
ReplyDeleteI agree that this poem leaves me wanting more. I don't necessarily want you to fill in all your answers or anything, but my general feeling at the end was wanting more. You should look up "The Hollow Men" by T.S. Eliot.
ReplyDeleteThis is a work in progress and I would really appreciate critique. Thanks
ReplyDeleteI really like that you expanded it. Personally, I liked the last stanza the best. I honestly can't find a flaw.
ReplyDelete